My Entitled Sisters Demanded That I Let Them Rent Out My Vacation Home for Profit. When I Refused…

This story has already been uploaded to my channel months ago, but recently there have been new updates that might interest you. I will leave the timestamp in the description for you to skip the old bits.

My entitled sisters demanded that I let them rent out my vacation home for profit. When I refused, their husbands broke in and are now facing charges. Happened today.

My folks decided to host a barbecue, because I guess that’s what older people do. I declined because I really don’t like my two sisters, their husbands, or their kids. My wife and I are child-free. Mom then pressured my wife. Long story short, we went.

By the time we arrived, there were about 20 people there. My sisters and their husbands were already solidly buzzed—drunk, really. My mom was spending 100% of her time trying to keep the nieces and nephews, ages 7 to 11, more or less under control. My dad had strategically retreated to the whirlpool part of the pool with a small cooler full of beers. My wife and I made small talk with miscellaneous people, ate food, and had a frozen margarita.

Sisters and their husbands took turns criticizing us for being late, not being in our swimsuits, and screwing up the vibe. Whatever. Typical suburban summer get-together.

About 45 minutes in, two of the kids ran at one of the neighbor guests who was standing next to the pool and pushed her in. She was at the pool steps, stumbled in, but didn’t fall, so only got half wet. She was clearly very unhappy about it, but she didn’t make a scene—just went over to where the parents were, grabbed their towels, dried herself off, and left. Sisters and their husbands thought it was all great fun.

A bit later, I was standing a few feet away from the pool, chatting away with someone. I saw three of the kids running full tilt at me from the corner of my eye. Obviously, I was next. Not that it’s terribly difficult to outwit young kids, but I just jumped out of their way at the last second. All three of them ran straight into the pool at full speed.

Most of the other guests, including my wife and me, started laughing, but their moms, who—as I mentioned—were pretty shitfaced, absolutely freaked out. Apparently, two of the kids couldn’t swim even though they were in swimsuits. Since I wasn’t in swim gear, I stepped back from the pool and let other people fish the kids out. The kids were balling their heads off like they lost a limb.

At that point, all hell broke loose. The four drunk parents were yelling at everyone in general and me in particular for nearly letting their kids drown, and also because two of the kids had been videoing the trick using their parents’ iPhones, which were now at the bottom of the pool. One of my brothers-in-law got into the pool to try to retrieve the phones, but his BMI and BAC made that impossible. No one else volunteered to help, unsurprising given that my sisters were still bitching at everyone.

I told my sisters it was their job to watch their kids and that if anything had happened to them it would have been their responsibility, not mine. There were some pretty strong words on both sides. My wife and I left after the other brother-in-law fell over and face-planted while yelling at us. Now they’re saying I should have let the little shits knock me into the pool and have their fun and ruin my phone, so I did.

Side note: Dad, of course, never got out of the whirlpool.

Relevant comments / thoughts from OOP:

I realized they’re just kids and they were just having fun. The fact that they thought this was okay is more of a reflection on their parents than them. Just wish we hadn’t gone. It’s nice to see my folks and their neighbors, but I really, really don’t like my sisters or their husbands. They don’t hide their envy of us, and they’re just exhausting to be around.

More about why OOP doesn’t care for some of his family:

It’s more of an oil and water sort of thing. I’ve never been close to my sisters—they’re eight and ten years older than me. I also don’t have much in common with their husbands. They’re okay guys, but I just don’t give a crap about the things that are important to them, and vice versa. I do know that the four of them are somewhat envious of our lifestyle. Both the sisters are stay-at-home moms. Both the husbands make good money—one makes noticeably more than I do—but both my wife and I have professional careers. We don’t have kids and we’re way more responsible with money. As a result, we have a lot more investments, etc., and we don’t have to drive cars full of kid debris, and we take nice trips once or twice a year. It definitely grinds on both sisters and, by extension, their husbands. So we get some petty behavior from them on an ongoing basis.

Overall, neither my wife nor I enjoy their company, which is why I wanted to skip the get-together. Just not worth it to me. But my wife is a positive person and is usually happy to see them.

“Hopefully next time your wife won’t feel guilted into going.”

That’s probably the one positive thing that will come out of this. Wife is much more tolerant and forgiving than I am towards my siblings, but based on what she was saying on the way home, I think she’s had it with them as well.

“Your dad sounds awesome.”

Yeah, my dad’s very chill. He loves being around groups of people. Used to be in sales. Likes people to enjoy themselves and is definitely enjoying life as a retiree. He and two other guys with him just sat there and watched the show. Mom’s cool too, but the situation upset her.

“Kids okay?”

The kids are fine. By the time I left they were inside watching TV. I think they’re seven, nine, ten, ten, and eleven. It was the middle three who played kamikaze with me. I’m guessing the eleven-year-old egged them on—she’s usually the ringleader.

“You phrased the part about your parents hosting a barbecue oddly.”

I had to shorten the post to fit in the character limit. My folks are gregarious and like to have people over. They have the classic “great for entertaining” house and are always coming up with a reason to get together. They’d wanted everyone to be at their place for the Fourth of July, but one of my sisters and her family were on a vacation, so this was a fake Fourth of July party, complete with flags, red, white, and blue decorations, barbecue, a margarita machine, etc. Sparklers were promised to the kids. My nieces and nephews were the only kids there. All of the neighbors are older, like my parents.

After my sisters came to my place, my mom and dad told me they were done with managing the vacation home. It sounded like the sisters had been pressuring them to let them use the place again. Basically, my folks handed the responsibility for the place over to me and told me it was my problem from here on out.

Up until then, they’d kept track of who would be using it when, and they’d taken care of routine maintenance, replacing worn-out items, etc. In any case, they decided they didn’t want to be in the middle of all this crap. While I don’t blame them, I’m disappointed because the damn place was supposed to be something for them to enjoy and hang out in, and they use it regularly. Plus, I’ve never cared that they let my sisters and their families use it because, really, I’ve always thought that was my parents’ call even though I technically own it. But now my folks are going to be in the position of not having access without me being involved, and that changes the whole dynamic of the place.

I’ve taken several steps to secure the place. I already mentioned that I locked the gate—it has a heavy-duty chain and the best lock I could find. I also did a full reset on all the door keypads and created all new codes. Security cameras got installed yesterday, which is actually pretty cool because the installer convinced me to put a high-res one that looks out over the valley. The system cost me way more than I thought it would, but the peace of mind is worth it. The installer also put up signs on the property saying the place was monitored by video. I also installed a heavy-duty lockout for the water shut-off drain valve. I hope to hell I lose the keys for it, because if I do it’s going to be a bear to try to remove. Haven’t told anyone but my wife that the water is locked off, and again only we have the keys.

Last week I got separate calls at my office from both of the husbands trying to convince me to let them use the house like they always have. The older one had gone up with some friends for a guy hangout, but couldn’t get in because of the gate lock. He was pretty pissed and embarrassed about being locked out. I’m sure he would have broken the lock if he could have. During his call, he kept bouncing between pushy and victimhood. At one point, he threatened to rip that gate out of the goddamn ground. He also admitted they’d been renting it out to a few friends, that they needed the money, I was ruining their business, and that I should refund their guests’ money. Me? F that. I should have recorded the conversation with him, but I don’t know how to do that from an office phone. Anyway, the other brother-in-law just sounded like he was being made to call by my sister. He didn’t really put up a fight when I told him not to plan on ever using the place again.

In any case, I told them they can’t use the place and not to ask again.

At this point, I’m considering selling the vacation home. My wife and I won’t use it enough to justify keeping it, and it’s not like there’s going to be any family get-togethers there anytime soon. I mentioned selling it to my folks. Their response was pretty much “whatever.” I’d more than double my money by selling it. The place consists of three lots with killer views and is at the end of a private road. But I’ll probably wait for a while to sell; doing so now would be an emotional decision.

My sisters and I aren’t currently speaking, and I have no plans to initiate contact. I don’t know what the status between them and my folks is, and I don’t want to. On the upside, we spent an evening with my folks last week—went to a new restaurant. That was nice. No one brought up any of this crap. Mom did update us on the nieces and nephews—she’s spending time with them at their homes. Sorry this update isn’t full of laughs or owns. That’s just life sometimes.

Update Post — October 16th, 2023 (1 month later):

A couple of people have asked for an update—here you go.

I hired a guy to manage/look over the vacation home. He lives in the area, takes care of his folks, and manages a good number of properties—some are vacation rentals, some are weekend places like ours. He has access to my camera feeds and does a physical check on the place every week or two. I think he may have the best job in the mountains—he gets paid to drive around with his dog, walk around the properties, and hang out on people’s decks whenever he feels like it. He also has a camera feed from a house near the start of the private road that takes still shots whenever a vehicle goes past it. $450 per month, plus he’ll do basic maintenance and repairs on an hourly basis. He’s friends with all of the sheriff’s deputies too. Got a lot of peace of mind from doing this, and he sends photos from his walks to everyone once or twice a week.

I have to brag a bit on my parents. I got all this from them tonight at dinner. They were getting pressure from my sisters to demand that I open up the vacation house to everyone for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving up there had become quite the tradition for the family. Not for me or my wife—we’ve gone once in 6 years. My dad refused to bother me about it because he knew I’d say no.

They came up with what I think is a great plan: announced that they were organizing the Thanksgiving gathering, and if everyone split the cost in advance, they’d rent an Airbnb in the mountains. Otherwise, they’d host Thanksgiving at their place, or one of the sisters could host it. This caused a fight between the sisters because the middle sister was all for doing the Airbnb, but the oldest one doesn’t have any money. The deadline to commit to the Airbnb has passed. Looks like Thanksgiving will be at my parents’ place regardless. We won’t be there.

My parents have asked that we not sell the place for now. They decided they’d still like to use it occasionally, but not until my sisters have come to terms with the new normal. And, of course, they’d probably like it if everyone could get together there again down the road, but that’s just not going to happen. I’d just as soon sell it and move on at this point, but I can live with keeping it if my folks do use it now and again. Plus it will be worth even more down the road.

Wife and I have stayed no contact with my sisters and their husbands. Both sisters have called from new numbers—F you, Google Voice—and left messages insisting that I meet with them for our parents’ sake to work out how everyone can use the family vacation home. They called my wife too. I’m glad I was already in the habit of not answering calls if I don’t recognize the number. I honestly don’t know if they’re delusional or if they think they can bully me into giving them access again. Don’t really care.

My parents tell me that the oldest sister and her husband are getting out of the leases for their SUV and big ass truck and are selling their jet skis and some other things they’ve never needed. That’s going to be really hard on her—she’s quite the braggart and won’t like being seen in something older, smaller, cheaper. My brother-in-law’s identity is very much wrapped up with his truck as well. He even has a small tattoo of the truck company’s logo, which frankly is one of the many reasons why he and I never hung out.

Several people have suggested I make the vacation home into an Airbnb. I don’t plan to do so, at least anytime soon. I know it would make money, but it would cause an incredible amount of drama across the family and would stress out my parents. They don’t need that. It would also be a hassle to remove personal things my folks have there. That stuff has nowhere to go, and there would be wear and tear on the place, and I’m sure it would take some amount of time on my part even though I’d use a manager to do it. Just not worth it to me.

Update Post 5 — November 27th, 2023 (1.5 months later):

Wrote most of this yesterday but decided to wait to post it until I wasn’t so wound up. Waiting didn’t work. I’m still wound up. Sorry if this rambles. So much has happened—hard to write coherently. Then things had gone to hell. I really, truly did not think anything like this would happen.

Short version: my brothers-in-law broke into my vacation home and were arrested. They’ve been charged with breaking and entering, destruction of property, and communicating threats—all Class One misdemeanors. I’ve refused to drop the charges. I might do so if I’m fully paid for the damage they caused. They were still in jail as of Saturday evening. I assume they’re out by now.

Things had settled down—or at least I thought so. Haven’t seen or heard from my sisters in over six weeks. My parents went up to the house for a week and had a good time. David, the property manager I hired, has worked out great. He’s done a couple of repairs I asked him to do, and I’ve given him a list that he’s going to work on. He usually sends a photo or two of wildlife or a sunset to his clients every week—was kind of making me want to get up there.

Friday after Thanksgiving, my brothers-in-law went to my vacation home. They used an angle grinder to cut through the chain on the driveway gate and damaged the gate in the process. They tried to get in through the front door, ruined the lock set and gouged the door badly. They finally got in through the utility room door and a locked internal door. They also broke into the barn—I’m not sure why.

When they went out through the front door, they were met by sheriff’s deputies and David. David gets notifications from the camera system when there’s activity. He saw what was going on and called the sheriff’s department. According to David, the brothers-in-law tried to talk their way out of it, but the deputies didn’t buy it. Breaking into an empty house is a pretty serious thing up there—usually it’s meth heads who ransack the place and hawk everything. When the brothers-in-law were arrested, they freaked out big time—were saying how they were going to beat the hell out of me, etc. Not smart to do in front of cops.

David and the sheriff’s office tried calling my wife and me to see what we wanted to do, but we were spending the day with her parents and had left our phones in the car so we could be in vacation mode. So they booked the brothers-in-law on everything, which is what I would have asked them to do anyway.

The brothers-in-law called their wives from jail, who of course freaked out. They called my folks, tried to call me (they’re blocked), tried to find a lawyer up there to arrange bail—not easy to do given that it’s a rural area and was a holiday weekend. Older sister has zero cash and her cards are maxed out, so if they made bail, my middle sister would have had to pay for both husbands.

I know they were still in jail as of Saturday afternoon. We didn’t check our phones until late Friday on the way home from the in-laws. There were a ton of calls and messages from my mom, dad, David, and the sheriff’s department. Talk about ruining a great day. I was in such a good mood till I looked at my phone. My wife read through the texts and listened to messages, read them out to me, and by the time we got home, I had some idea of what was going on. I put my brain back into thinking mode, tried to get past my anger—failed—called David and got the rundown on what had happened and how bad the damage was, resulting in more anger. I ended Friday by calling the sheriff’s department and telling them there was no misunderstanding: the brothers-in-law had absolutely no right to be on my property and I wanted to press charges.

I didn’t call my folks back. Barely slept.

I waited until Saturday afternoon to call my folks. They were both pretty rattled about it all—my mom in particular. My sisters had browbeaten them into telling me I should tell the cops it was all a mistake and that I wanted the charges dropped. I refused flat out. Told them there was no way I’d do that until I spoke with an attorney and also not until I was paid in full for whatever it will cost to fix everything—100%.

My mom was crying hard by the time we got off the phone, which of course made me feel like… My dad suggested it was time for a complete start over, but also said he thought they needed to pay for the damage.

I haven’t gone up to the property yet. There’s nothing I can do, and I’ll probably go nuts when I see the damage in person—the photos are bad enough. I’m hoping to tomorrow or Wednesday, but my job isn’t one I can just wander off from for non-emergencies. I’ve left messages with two attorney friends asking them to recommend the right lawyers to go after my sisters and brothers-in-law. I don’t know what I can do exactly, but I’m hoping to get restraining orders. I have all the texts they’ve sent me—that might help. I’m strongly considering suing them for the money they made renting the place. I don’t care about the cash, but it will help make them as miserable as possible. The gloves are definitely off at this point.

A couple of side notes:

One: The brothers-in-law had no idea I’d hired someone to keep an eye on things or that there are cameras there now. My parents knew but hadn’t told them, because they knew it would just give my sisters a reason to drama up. There are signs on the property stating it’s being monitored with cameras and “No Trespassing” signs, though.

Two: My wife has completely had it at this point. I don’t blame her. She’s been more than patient about it all, but she reached her limit and was not shy about letting me know. She told me it’s up to me how I deal with this, but that she thought they all needed to be taught a hard lesson.

Three: Older brother-in-law likely won’t face any repercussions at his job over this, but middle brother-in-law has a security clearance, so he might. I’m hoping that will be motivation for middle brother-in-law to pay for the damages himself immediately.

Four: David, the caretaker, has an interesting background. I knew he was friends with some of the deputies—figured it was because they were all locals. I was wrong. He was a cop in a big city for years, was shot on duty, and afterwards decided to quit and moved to where his parents had retired. He has some PTSD over it all. His dog is a certified service animal and is usually with him. I know law enforcement people tend to hang together—I guess that’s how they became his friend group.

Update Post 6 — December 2nd, 2023 (five days later):

Didn’t think I’d be doing another post this soon, but a lot has happened over the past two days. Short version: I think the corner has been turned on this crap.

Thursday afternoon I got a courier-delivered envelope at my office. In it was a signed letter from both my brothers-in-law and a cashier’s check for $5,000. In the letter they made what I have to say was a really sincere apology. Among other things, they acknowledged breaking in, acknowledged it was wrong, said the $5,000 was to pay for the damage and that they’d pay more if it cost more than that. They also said they’d stay away from the vacation home unless my wife and I specifically invited them. They also asked that I’d do what I could to get the charges dropped as soon as possible because they both could lose their jobs, and that they’d agree to a restraining order or whatever else it took for that to happen. There was more as well—all conciliatory—but that’s the gist of it.

To say this was a shock is an understatement. It was obviously a total 180 from their past behavior. I’d already made an appointment with an attorney to see about suing my brothers-in-law over the damage and to try to get a restraining order. I called him and told him what I just received, and he agreed to meet with me at the end of the day instead of next week. Told me not to deposit the check.

We met for about two hours. He ended up recommending my wife and I do a settlement and mutual release agreement with all four of them—sisters and brothers-in-law. He said if we went after them via a lawsuit that we’d almost certainly win, but that it could take two years or more, there would be sizable upfront legal fees, and that we might never see any money. He also said we could keep the $5,000 free and clear even if we didn’t let them off the hook. He’s drawing up the agreement. It won’t be ready until Monday.

The agreement will include what’s essentially the civil equivalent of a restraining order. I’d already asked my property manager to work up a bid to get the damage repaired. I called him after the meeting and asked that he get me as close an estimate as possible ASAP. Got that Friday. He thinks it will take around $4,000 to fix everything—most of that is for the front door.

On Friday my attorney contacted each of the brothers-in-law, told them what we were proposing, and advised them to get their own lawyers. They both agreed to it. The middle brother-in-law told them they could afford to either pay for the damages or pay for a lawyer, but not both, and they figured a lawyer wouldn’t make any difference given that they really had no defense for what they did. His biggest concern was if the charges could be dropped. From what I can tell, they’re willing to do anything—sign anything—to make this all go away.

My attorney also called the DA’s office on Friday to discuss dismissing the charges—got the name of the prosecutor and left them a message, but has not spoken to them yet. He thinks they’ll dismiss the charges because the brothers-in-law are paying up and they have no priors, but then again he’s not a criminal lawyer. Also said I should be prepared to drive up there Monday or Tuesday and meet with the prosecutor in person that I want everything dismissed. He’s also advised me to continue to be no contact with sisters and brothers-in-law, especially for the next six months, and that it will be really important to follow the terms of the agreement when it comes to future interactions with them.

I’m guessing that the brothers-in-law’s change of heart is due to them having figured out what’s at stake for them—what it’s going to cost them in legal fees and fines and so on. There’s also the highly unlikely possibility that they could go to jail for up to 120 days, and as I’ve mentioned one of them has a security clearance for his job that could be at risk. So this is their Hail Mary pass to keep their normal lives.

This isn’t a perfect resolution to the situation, but at least it will get me past the legal and financial part of the show that I’ve been in for the past few months. I doubt I’ll ever have a civil relationship with any of them ever again, and that’s fine. What I want most at this point is to close this off, get on with my life, and never speak to any of them again. I’m exhausted from this. My wife feels pretty much the same way.

Kind of a side issue, but getting the written apology was weirdly a huge moment for me. I wasn’t expecting that ever, but apparently it matters to me quite a bit. The money doesn’t feel particularly important at this moment. I’ll damn sure take it, though. Also, I’m pretty certain my middle sister and her husband came up with the money—the cashier’s check is from the credit union of the company he works for.

Once things are signed, I plan to make one more update—probably just an edit to this post. I’m sorry for being so pedantic. Writing these posts has helped clear my head, and the feedback has really helped. I truly appreciate everyone’s comments, insights, and support, and I really, really hope none of you ever have to go through this kind of nonsense.

Final Update — December 7th, 2023 (five days later):

Tuesday morning I met with my attorney, went over the agreement, changed a couple of minor things, and he sent it to my sisters and brothers-in-law. It included a requirement that they pay my attorney’s fee—about $3,000. They weren’t happy about that and tried to negotiate it away, but he told them they either accept it as is or there would be no deal at all, and we’d proceed with suing them for the money they got from renting out the vacation house, wear and tear from renting it, repair costs from their break-in, emotional distress, lost income from having to deal with this, attorney fees, and whatever else we could. He also told them I would push hard with the DA’s office to prosecute every charge.

Short version: they came in and signed. I wasn’t there. I’m told it was a pretty tense environment and that the middle brother-in-law appeared to have taken charge and that at one point he told both of my sisters to shut the hell up or he was walking away from the whole thing, making his own deal with us, and the rest of them could all go to hell. They provided another cashier’s check for $500—claimed that’s all they had. It’s close enough that we’re going to accept it as the final payment.

My attorney also told me that everyone was very cold and curt towards one another, but that they all managed to keep it together long enough to sign and left without making too big of a scene.

I drove up to the vacation house early yesterday to check out the damage and meet with the DA’s office. Seeing the damage made my blood boil—it was so senseless. I was so pissed that I was ready to eat the cost of repairs and do everything I could to ruin their lives. Tried walking it off—failed utterly. Ended up calling a good friend who was kind enough to stay on the phone for over an hour, letting me spew and vent. He eventually got me back to focusing on the bigger picture of putting this behind me and getting on with my life.

Honestly, I’m still not sure that’s what I want to do, but I settled down enough to get some food in me, and I felt better after lunch. I went to the DA’s office—hadn’t made an appointment and had to wait a while, but got to meet with the assistant DA who’s got the case. Short version is that since I don’t want to prosecute and the brothers-in-law have already paid for the damages, they are willing to drop all the charges except trespassing, which in this case will be a Class Two misdemeanor. The brother-in-law will have to plead guilty and pay whatever fine the judge sets. I’m also told that if they fight the trespassing charge or ever so much as fart in public up there, that it would go very poorly for them. It helped that the brothers-in-law didn’t resist arrest—if they had, none of the charges would have been dropped.

I also went by the Sheriff’s Office to thank them for getting there so quickly and everything—wanted to thank the deputies personally, but only spoke to the dispatch person. And I tried to meet up with David, the property manager, but couldn’t get hold of him.

A couple of notes:

• The agreement includes a no-contact clause—basically, if any of them show up where my wife or I are (or the other way around), whoever got there last has to leave immediately. No contact except through attorneys or other mutually agreed-upon third parties. They get to keep whatever they made from renting the vacation house—my big give—unless I have tax consequences, which they will be responsible for, and we release each other from all other liabilities up through the present. There’s more to it than that, but those are the high points.

Wife and I will sign the agreement later today. After that, I can’t talk about most of this, but I can talk around it, I think. This is my final update regarding all this nonsense, but I’ll respond to comments if I can. As I’ve said before, posting about all of this and reading folks’ thoughts and responses has been really helpful and has probably been key in my being able to handle this in a relatively healthy way, so thank you all again.